


and i don't think i've seen your name before

by zeitgeistofnow



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Dirk Gently's Soulmate Detective Agency, M/M, Multi, Trans Male Character, but it's fine, dirk 'accidentally' takes his client on a date, dirk and amanda are friends, dirk has a disorder that makes him not have a soulmate name, science museum dates, they kiss by dinosaurs, trans!Dirk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 11:32:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14260041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeitgeistofnow/pseuds/zeitgeistofnow
Summary: Dirk Gently’s Soulmate Detective Agency, the sign outside of Dirk’s office reads, in big, bronze letters, drilled into the wood door. It’s getting a bit old- a sign of prestige, one client said. He bought it when he started the agency, which may have been a financial mistake, sure, but it had been worth it to see his name on the sign.Amanda insists on Todd getting out of his anti-soulmate phase and visiting the best soulmate detective in the business, which just happens to be Dirk.





	and i don't think i've seen your name before

**Dirk Gently’s Soulmate Detective Agency** , the sign outside of Dirk’s office reads, in big, bronze letters, drilled into the wood door. It’s getting a bit old- a sign of prestige, one client said. He bought it when he started the agency, which may have been a financial mistake, sure, but it had been worth it to see _his name_ on the sign. He hasn’t regretted it in the seven years he’s had his agency, even when his secretary quit because he’d bought the sign in lieu of paying her paycheck.

His mum had visited him once since he’d moved to America, and that was the first thing she’d seen of his office- _of course it was, it was on his door-_ and she’d stood there, looking slightly uncomfortable until Dirk had called for her to come in, make herself at home, he was just making tea, have a seat in these _really_ comfy chairs he’d found at the Goodwill down the street.

She’d sunk down into the chair- they really were comfy, Dirk had gotten a few compliments on them- and had said, “You’re going by Dirk now?”

Dirk had ground his teeth and smiled wider. “Yeah, mum.”

His mum looked conflicted. “What about your soulmate? How will they find you?”

“Oh, you mean the nonexistent one you’ve been bugging me about for years?” _Don’t spill Earl Grey on the important financial papers, Dirk._

“Sv-Dirk!” His mother admonished. “Everyone has a soulmate.”

“Those papers from the doctors seem to suggest otherwise.” This was not how he’d wanted the visit to go, but he supposed it was inevitable. Best to get this shit over with so that one could just enjoy tea later.

His mom had sniffed. “I read a story in the news a while ago about a girl who’d been told that she didn’t have a soulmate, and then she went to a detective and he went a found-”

“I was that detective,” Dirk had said, handing his mom a cup of tea, “And that story was almost completely fabricated.”

There was a silence, and Dirk drums on the side of his teacup. The story his mom had been talking about had taken place a few weeks ago, and wasn’t anything special. The girl’s soulmate had found her after a few days, and Dirk had bid goodbye to the two of them. The news story had come later, and, other than the girl’s names, none of it was founded on fact.

His mom has sighed, taking a sip of her drink and leaning back. “I remember making tea with you, back when you were just a little girl.” Dirks dentist was always telling Dirk not to grind his teeth. “We’d make popovers and have a tea party. You’d wear that cute little dress…” His dentist was going to be awfully disappointed.

Dirk wanted to either start crying at his mom or just shove her out of the office. “I’m afraid I hated that dress,” he had said instead.

His mom had ignored him. “You changed the day we got that letter,” she says absently. “I always thought it was greif. You were only sixteen, getting the news that you didn’t have a soulmate wrecked you.”

Dirk tried to make himself think of something else- the client he had been working with. They were going to a bar that night. At least, that was the plan, but Dirk had a hunch that the aquarium would be a better choice.

His mother sighed and shook her head, seeming to notice how awkward the conversation had become. “I should go.”

Thank god she wasn’t only in the states for him. Dirk opened the door and handed her her coat. “Mm-hm. Come back whenever you like!”

She hadn’t come back since.

 

Dirk, unlike his mom, is perfectly fine with the fact that he doesn’t have a soulmate.

He’d been prepared for it since he was a preschooler, when he finally asked his teacher why all his classmates had words like ‘john’ and ‘amelia’ and ‘peter’ on their wrists but he didn’t. His teacher had bit her lip and referred him to the school counselor, who had ruffled through medical papers until she found the phrase Unconfirmed Nonomialpath and had explained that he didn’t have a soulmate name on his wrist, and they’re not sure if anyone else had his name on their wrist, but don’t worry, sweetheart, you don’t need a soulmate to be happy. Then she’d given him a cotton-candy flavored sucker and he’d gone back to his classroom happy.

When he was sixteen, he got a letter from the Bureau of Soulmate Issues, telling him that, as of yet, no one with the name Svaldia on their wrist had been born, meaning that Dirk did not have a soulmate, because no soulmates were more than sixteen years apart in age.

His mom had cried, his school counselor had been professionally sympathetic, and Dirk had been relieved. No one could make him stay in town- _staying in the area in which you were born raises the likelihood of you finding your soulmate young-_ keep his name _\- using different pronouns or names makes it more difficult to identify soulmates, transgender individuals are encouraged to keep their given name-_ and- maybe best of all- he didn’t have to worry that every person he meets might be his soulmate. He’d moved to America, bought a big bronze sign for his agency, and helped people.

Like Amanda, who’s sitting on the edge of his desk, kicking the side, and staring out the tiny window. Dirk’s wasting time, switching between watching TV and doing _finances._ It’s what they usually do between Dirk’s cases.

“You’re scuffing the wood, Amanda” Dirk says

“It’ll be good for business,” she responds. “It looks like you had a fight. Makes you seem badasser than you are.”

“Is that a word?” Dirk muses.

“It should be,” Amanda says. Everything she’s saying was a variation on the same script they always read through- Amanda does something, Dirk says something about it, they banter- but something’s off.

“Are the Rowdies okay?” Dirk asks hesitantly.

Amanda laughs, shuffling through a stack of Dirk’s bills. “They’re fine. Martin and Vogel are getting groceries and Cross and Gripps are up at the dog park.”

Ah, the dog park. Dirk’s found quite a few of people’s soulmates there.

“No,” Amanda continues, “it’s just some family stuff.”

Dirk sticks his tongue out. “Is it your parents again?”

Amanda stacks some of the teacups scattered around Dirk’s desk. “My brother.”

“Your brother? I don’t think you’ve-” Dirk grabs at a half-full cup before Amanda can pour out the tea. “I don’t think you’ve mentioned him before.”

Amanda grins affectionately. “He’s insufferable.”

“You seem like you’re fond of him,” Dirk notes.

“Yeah. He’s just an idiot. I visited him this weekend, and he’s still living in a hole.”

“Uh-hu.” Dirk nods. “I had to live in a hole for a case once. Your hair gets awfully dusty.”

“He doesn’t _do_ anything.” Amanda stands up and flops into one of Dirk’s ‘client chairs’. “Just goes to work, goes home, probably eats.”

“Most of my clients are like that,” Dirk says.

“I’d send him to you, but he hasn’t shown anyone his tattoo in years. He doesn’t _believe_ in soulmates.” Amanda rolls her eyes. “I don’t even know who it is.”

“I’ve done cases without names before,” Dirk says. “There was one case- honestly, one of my weirder ones- with this fifteen year old girl and the _cutest_ kitten-” he’s cut off by Amanda’s phone, which starts to play a loud song that Dirk wouldn’t necessarily call music, but Amanda seems to like it, because she taps her foot as she answers the phone, mouthing _Vogel_ at Dirk and slipping out the door.

Dirk settles back into his show, knowing Amanda isn’t going to come back into the office to say goodbye.

 

She comes back the next day, though, with a “Hello,” and someone Dirk presumes is her brother by the way she looks at him- fondly but also like she would push him off the high diving board at the YMCA.

“You said you can do it without a name, right?” She shoves the brother into one of Dirk’s client chairs and braces a hand on his desk, bumping a pencil. They watch as it slowly rolls off the desk and onto the floor.

“Yup! I did it with one woman-”

“Uh-hu.” Amanda gestures to the brother. “This is my brother. Todd.”

Todd raises a hand in greeting.

“You’ll find his soulmate for him?” Amanda looks like she thinks Dirk’s going to say no, and Dirk wants to laugh.

“Yup!” He grins. “I haven’t failed a case once.”

Amanda opens her mouth to say something, but her phone rings- a more ballady song than the song yesterday, but still the same kind of non-music. “Griff,” she says, and runs out the door, leaving Dirk to stare at Todd.

Dirk has a feeling that this is one of those cases where he shouldn’t say anything- should wait for his client to ask a question, or provide information. He gets this feeling a lot, and usually he ignores it, but this is _Amanda._ One of his closests friends! He can’t mess up this case. He has, in the past. Messed up cases. Said the wrong thing, introduced his client to the wrong person- once he had a Susan with the name Mary on her wrist- had a case take too long and given up.

They stare at each other for a little while longer before Todd sighs and leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “So?”

“So?” Dirk prods.

“How does this work?” Todd waves a hand, encompassing Dirk’s office, Dirk himself, and, likely, the whole of the Soulmate Detectiviving business. The explaining is Dirk’s favorite part of the case, and he’s found it’s most satisfying when taken during a brisk walk. “I’ll tell you on the way.”

Todd looks startled. “The way where?”

“The dog park,” Dirk says, like it should be obvious. And it should! You’d think people would do their research before hiring him. He shrugs on his leather jacket and holds the door open.

Todd, forehead creased in one of the cutest expressions of confusion that Dirk’s seen in his seven years in the business, follows Dirk out the door.

“I’m glad you asked about how it works,” Dirk says as they walk down the sidewalk. “I’ve had many clients who’ve gone a whole case without admitting their cluelessness. There was one person-”

“How does it work?” Todd drew his jacket closed- not buttoning it, just keeping one hand there.

“Universe,” Dirk says, “Soulmates are inherently holistic-”

“Holistic?”

 _You’d think by now Dirk would remember that most people don’t know what holistic means-_ “Fundamental interconnectedness of all things,” Dirk says hurriedly. “All soulmates will eventually meet each other, correct?”

“Duh.”

“I just hurry the process along. Usually, after two or three days around me you’ll find your soulmate. Or, in the case of you sister, soulmates.”

“Was she one of your clients?” Todd looks torn between curiosity and petulancy.

“Oh, no. We’re friends.” Dirk hopes that how proud saying that makes him doesn’t show on his face. “But yes, my presence probably sped things along.”

There’s a silence- one of those fascinating silences that aren’t truly silences, surrounded as they are by cars and birds and all manner of noise making things- until Todd says, “Look, I don’t - I don’t want to be here.”

“Ah, yes. I’ve been meaning to ask you about this. Why, exactly, don’t you believe in soulmates?”

Todd sighs heavily. “It’s… complicated.”

There’s a lull in the conversation, and Dirk bites his tongue. _If you say something now, he won’t keep talking._

“I had this friend, because I was in a band a few years ago. Our drummer- one of the nicest people you’ll probably meet, their soulmate died when they were five.”

Dirk hums sympathetically.

“And it just… doesn’t seem fair. For them- they’re a _hell_ of a lot nicer than me- to not get a soulmate and for me to have one.” Todd looks into the distance. “I dunno. It’s just an unfair system. I don’t want to be involved in it.”

“Did you ever ask you drummer about it?”

“Ask them about what?”

“How they feel about it.”

“Well- no.” Todd looks embarrassed, but also confused. “I figured they wouldn’t want to talk about it, and then the band broke up.”

Dirk can here his mum’s voice in his head. ‘ _Getting the news that you didn’t have a soulmate wrecked you.’_

“Usually the people whose soulmates die are the ones who don’t need a soulmate.” The universe is remarkably considerate in that way. Dirk shrugs.

Todd smiles- just a tiny bit, but it’s the most he’s done since Dirk met him. “You talk like it’s happened to you.”

Dirk doesn’t look at Todd, just straightens his tie.

There’s a pause, then Todd mutters to himself, _“shit.”_

“Yeah. It’s Unmatched Nonomialpathia, a medical thing.” He glances around. It’s rather windy, and the trees are dancing and losing leaves in the gusts. “Let’s not go to the dog park, actually. Tea?” There’s this _adorable_ coffee shop close to where they are.

“Coffee, actually.” Todd smiles again- semi-forced, but better than nothing. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles, kicking at a dried-up leaf.

“It was twenty-some years ago,” Dirk says breezily. “I’m over it.”

The coffee shop’s door rings when Dirk opens it, and the barista- a lovely woman who was one of Dirk’s clients _ages_ ago and whose name he no longer remembers- winks at them. “Your usual, Gently?”

“Yes, and…” Dirk glances at Todd. He prides himself of being able to guess his client’s orders. “A coffee with cream?” He rarely gets the order right- the furthest off being guessing a pumpkin spice latte for a customer that wanted black coffee- but Todd’s raised eyebrows suggests that he guessed right.

“Do you come where with all of your clients?” Todd asks, settling into a chair, coffee cup in hand.

“Only the ones whose sisters I like!” Dirk replies, then frowns. “Sorry, that was a lie. I do come here with the vast majority of my clients.”

Todd doesn’t respond, just stares into the bottom of his coffee cup. Dirk eyes the pastries in the glass case and the barista winks at him. He grins back at her. He stays at the table for a few more seconds, just in case Todd’s going to say something, but when it becomes clear that he’s not, Dirk stands up and walks over to the counter.

“Can I have…” _Damn. Some many choices… can he consider this an expense?_ “Uh… That one.” Dirk points at a slice of strawberry cake, and the barista puts it on a plate with two forks.

 

The cake tastes like heaven, Dirk thinks. He supposes that he doesn’t really _know,_ never having been to heaven, but _Jesus Christ._ His euphoria probably shows, and Todd looks up from his frankly depressing cup of coffee.

“Is it _really_ that good?”

Dirk shoves the paper plate at Todd. “Yes!”

Todd stares at the plate like it’s an alien. “Can I have some?”

Dirk rolls his eyes. “I assume that’s why my friend over there gave me two forks. The universe wanted me to share.”

Todd takes a tiny bite of the cake- obviously not wanting to take more than his share, and while Dirk usually admires that, Dirk is probably going to charge Todd for the cake, so- “Have as much as you want,” he says, and puts down his own fork, even though it’s kind of physically painful.

Todd looks surprised. “Are you sure?”

“Yep! Totally sure!” Dirk nods at the cake. “I thought I read somewhere than eating cake with tea is bad for you, anyway.” Dirk points halfheartedly at his cup of tea.

Todd takes a bite, and points at the cake. “This is actually really good frosting.”

Dirk groans and slumps in his chair. Todd peers at him, one eyebrow raised. “Really sure?”

“No,” Dirk sighs. Todd offers him the fork he’d put down. “We can share.”

 _Rather unprofessional,_ the voice of Dirk’s mum that lives in his head says. Dirk tells the voice to _go away, please and thank you,_ and takes a bite of the cake. The frosting really is good. Todd’s actual, not forced grin is better.

 

Dirk’s phone rings when he’s halfway out of his binder and he really _fucking_ hopes it’s not a client, because that would just be a perfect way to end the night, wouldn’t it, Dirk. Then again, his current client is rather nice and has excellent taste in cake, so maybe he wouldn’t mind. Dirk tugs on a pyjama t-shirt and calls back the number- Amanda, thankfully.

“Yes! I was dressed when you called me and it’s completely a coincidence that I didn’t respond to your call-”

“How’s my brother?”

Dirk blinks at the phone. “Your brother… Ah, yes! Todd! No luck today, but I’m sure that it won’t take long. We had the _best_ cake.”

Someone, behind Amanda, shouts, _“Where’s the cake from?”_

“I- uh. The coffee shop on Sunset and Cambridge, downtown,” Dirk replies.

_“Thanks.”_

“You’re welcome.”

Amanda chuckles, the noise statiky and strange over the phone. “Anything else of note?”

“Not particularly. I think that we’ll go to the art museum tomorrow.” He hadn’t thought about that until he said it, but… yes. The art museum. At 6:35 tomorrow.

There’s a muffled giggle from one of the rowdies and Amanda tells them to shut up, then turns back to the receiver and says, “That sounds terrific, Dirk. Call me and tell me how it goes tomorrow.”

Dirk does a thumbs up before remembering she can’t see him, and says, “Will do, Amanda!”

“Thanks-” Amanda curses and ends the call.

Dirk stares at his phone for a moment before his brain cells reach the conclusion that she wasn’t kidnapped, it was probably one of the Rowdy 3, and he sits back on his bed and lets out a sigh.

 

Dirk spends most of the next day fielding calls from various people- mostly clients. Well, all clients, just at various stages of becoming clients. A few guys who called him on a dare and will probably all be coming in to his office in the next few weeks, an old client who just got the bill and objected to him adding the latte he got with her to the check, four people asking about pricing and a man who thinks it’s Dirk’s fault his soulmate works odd hours.

It is, indubitably, Dirk’s least favorite part of the job. He lets his mind wander while he’s on the phone, trying to pin down exactly which museum he and Todd are supposed to go to. There’s an aquarium not too far away, but aquarium only loosely fits the definition of ‘museum’ and Dirk doesn’t want to misunderstand the hunch. He looks up ‘museums near me’ and scrolls through the options, pausing after each one.

 _Not the wartime museum, that decidedly_ unromantic, _wouldn’t want Todd meeting his soulmate there… not the dime museum, or the wax museum…  or the erotica museum, which would make a facinating wedding story, but no… Ooh! A art museum!_

Dirk bookmarks the website and hums in agreements to whatever the woman on the phone is saying. “Yes, of course, just email me your complaints…”

 

Todd arrives not too much later, without the jean jacket he had been wearing- which Dirk is rather saddened by because Todd looked cute in it- and he waves and slouches in Dirk’s client chair.

Dirk waves back and points over-exaggeratedly at the phone. _One second,_ he mouths. Todd nods, taking out his cellphone and tapping at it.

“-Excuse me, Shelia, it’s been wonderful talking to you, but my client just walked in, and I’m afraid I need to go,” Dirk says, hoping he sounds genuine and that Shelia will call back later and perhaps pay him. Shelia mumbles an assent and hangs up, and Dirk spins around in his desk chair, looking up at the ceiling.

“We’re going to the art museum today.”

Todd nods, not looking up from his phone, and says, “Why?”

“Just a hunch.” Dirk stops the chair and stands up. His coat- blue, today- is hanging on the coat rack, and he looks between it and Todd for a few seconds. “Do you… need a coat? We’re going to be walking.”

Todd smiles tightly. “I’ll be fine. It can’t be that bad, can it?”

Dirk purses his lips and doesn’t say anything, and Todd rolls his eyes. “Let’s go, Dirk.”

Todd saying Dirk’s name is one of the best sounds Dirk has ever heard, and he stands there for a moment, staring at Todd, who stares back, brow furrowed, and says, “Dirk? Are you coming?”

“Yes yes of course I am!” Dirk pulls on the coat. “It’s like four block left, two right, et. cetera… We’ll find it.”

“Are you _sure_ it was five blocks right,” Todd says, “because there doesn’t seem to be a _art_ museum anywhere near here.”

Dirk stares up at the statue of a dinosaur. Not an art museum, no, but this might be better. “The _science_ museum. I should’ve known.” There’s a poster proclaiming ‘Date Night With The Dinosaurs’ and a day that Dirk is quite is today.

This has got to be one of the best meetings Dirk will even have the pleasure of helping along, and he _knows_ Todd is going to meet his soulmate tonight. He’s got a feeling, kind of. Like a knot in his stomach but also like how you know that dolphins and porpoises are different. A combination of a hunch and experience. “We are _going_ to find your soulmate tonight, Todd,” Dirk says.

Todd smile/grimaces at Dirk. “Sure.”

“We need to make this perfect.” Dirk looks Todd up and down. Along the way, he’d convinced Todd to take his jacket- they must have walked a few miles to get to the science museum- and it looks good on him- maybe better than it did on Dirk, but not as good as his jean jacket. Dirk fixes Todd’s hair and straightens the jacket. “Perfect.”

Todd looks up at Dirk- _oh good lord he’s so_ short. _It’s absolutely adorable._

“So, you think I’m ready to meet them?”

“I think that anyone would fall in love with you right now.” The words tumble out of Dirk’s mouth, and words have a penchant to do, and he widens his eyes. “I mean. Uh.”

Todd just smirks. “Let’s go.”

It’s been an hour at the museum, and they haven’t met anyone single, let alone Todd’s soulmate. Dirk’s found a few dinosaur fossils that he swears speak to his soul, and he tells Todd so jokingly, and Todd purses his lips and makes an incredibly bad attempt at smiling. Dirk thinks the nerves must be getting to him.

“Don’t worry,” he says, patting Todd’s arm, “we’ll find them soon. There’s not too many places they could be hiding.”

“Unless they’re not here.”

“There is _no way_ you’re not going to find them tonight,” Dirk says. The feeling he had outside of the museum has only gotten stronger over the time they’ve spent raising the museum. “Trust me, Todd.”

Todd mumbles something under his breath and snorts.

 

It’s been two hours and they’ve found the bar the museum set up for their Date Night event. Dirk is reading through the drink menu- every single drink named after a dinosaur, and the further down the list you get the less clever the puns are. Todd had chosen to bypass the dinosaur theme and is drinking something.

Dirk, honestly cannot get more specific. He’s also not very focused on his own drink, which he’s in the process of choosing, because a) there’s a great giant dinosaur fossil looming above them and b) Todd’s soulmate has yet to show up, which Dirk thinks is rather rude of them. Todd doesn’t seem to care about the soulmate thing, and is instead telling Dirk about triceratops, a subject Dirk would find _absolutely fascinating,_ just not when he’s on the turning point of a case.

“That’s wonderful, Todd.” Dirk looks at the bartender, a museum employee whose expression says that they did not sign up for this. _Too old._ Everyone else around them is part of a couple.

“I’ll get the Tipperary Rex,” Dirk says.

 

They’ve been at the museum for _three hours_ now, which is definitely longer than Dirk’s ever been at a museum, and he’s beginning to doubt the feeling he’s got, even though it’s never been wrong.

“Todd,” he says, tugging Todd away from a recreation of a velociraptor. “Todd, I think you should tell me who your soulmate is.”

Todd steps away from Dirk. “And I think you should mind your own goddamn business.”

“You hired me to find them.”

“My sister did.” Todd scowls. “That’s my personal business.”

Dirk sighs exasperatedly. “Todd, I cannot complete my job without knowing their name.”

“Maybe I wasn’t actually supposed to run into them today.” Todd crosses his arms. “We could just go home.”

“No,” Dirk insists, “you’re going to meet them today. Here.”

Todd taps his fingers against a plaque detailing the supposed life of velociraptors. “Can you tell me more about Nonomialpathia?”

 _Not even a discrete subject change_ , Dirk thinks, but goes along with it. “It’s like one in 11 million, I think.” He hadn’t really cared, but information had seeped into his brain and stuck there. “There’s two different variations, because the base disorder is simply the absence of a soulmate tattoo, not a soulmate. I have Unmatched Nonomialpathia, because there isn’t anyone with my name on their wrist.”

Todd pushes his soulmate hand into the pocket of his jeans. “Dirk can’t be that uncommon of a name, can it?”

Dirk shifts. “Nah, it’s not.” This, thankfully, was not a conversation he had often. Or, really, ever. Amanda had nodded knowingly, and, well. Dirk didn’t really have anyone else that would ask. “It’s not the name that would be on my soulmate’s wrist, though. Not my birth name.”

Todd furrows his brow, and Dirk shifts from one foot to another. “I’m trans, Todd.”

Todd nods for an awkwardly long period of time. “So, there’s no one with your birth name on their wrist?”

“Nope,” Dirk stares at Todd. “I told you that. On the first day we met.”

Todd shifts. “Well- well, could someone have Dirk on their wrist?”

“No,” Dirk says automatically. “That’s not how it works.”

Todd stares at the picture of a flying dinosaur. “How do you _know_ that?”

Dirk pauses. “I guess I don’t.” _Goddamnit, Dirk. Don’t get your hopes up._ “Why?”

Todd bites his lip. “I think I know why we haven’t found my soulmate. Or, rather. We have?”

“Where are you going with this, Todd- oh!” Kissing Todd was definitely not what Dirk was expecting from this evening, but he can’t say he’s complaining. He wraps an arm around Todd’s back and pulls him closer, and it occurs to him that this is probably technically his first kiss, or, really, his first kiss, full stop, and that Todd was probably implying something.

“Wait,” Dirk mumbles. Todd steps away, and Dirk giggles despite himself. “What? Why haven’t we found your-?”

Todd clicks off the clunky watch he wears and pushes up his sleeve. DIRK, his wrist says, in a typewriter-ish font and all caps.

“ Jesus _Christ,”_ Dirk breathes. He stares at Todd. “I… was not expecting that.”

Todd chuckles. “You basically took me on a date.”

“With dinosaurs! For a case!” Dirk says without thinking. “Can we kiss again?"

Todd raises an eyebrow and smiles. “Yeah,” Todd says and reaches up to Dirk’s face, and even though he was expecting it this time, Dirk still squawks and waves his arms before figuring out what he's doing and deepening the kiss. Todd's mouth tastes a bit like the drink he'd had earlier, and Dirk puts his hands on Todd's waist, pressing their mouths together. The stand there for a while, kissing beneath the dinosaurs until Dirk leans back against the plaque and straightens his tie. "We'll certainly have to do that again soon, but in the meantime..." he grins down at Todd. "I have a hunch the museum might not be the best place to be now."

 

Amanda shakes her head. “And you didn’t _say_ anything, Todd?”

Todd shrugs, toying with the string of his teabag. “He _said_ he didn’t have a soulmate, and there are probably a bunch of Dirks in the world.”

“Just like there are probably a bunch of Martins,” Amanda says, punctuating her point by kicking the desk. “You have to put yourself out there.”

“That may not be the best comparison,” Dirk points out mildly, “Seeing as there are other names on your wrist, and Cross, Gripps and Vogel are all significantly less common names.”

Amanda rolls her eyes and takes a gulp of her tea. “Still. And the science museum? Really, Dirk? I thought you meant the art museum.”

Dirk ducks his head. “I thought I did too.”

Todd reaches a hand out to hold Dirk’s, and Dirk smiles at him, and they’re just grinning at each other until Amanda says, “Hey, nerds-”

She’s cut off by the door to the agency opening and a woman comes in, one hand tucked through her belt loop and some of the best hair Dirk’s seen.

“I’m Farah. This is Dirk Gently’s Soulmate Detective Agency?” She places her other hand on the doorframe.

Dirk grins. “That’s what it says on the sign. How can I help you?”

**Author's Note:**

> hey! so if you liked this, please comment! they make my day! :D thanks for reading and i hope your month goes well.


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